(Here is another episode in my continuing exploration of the Bible. You can read my series introduction here. All scripture quotes are NIV and may not be copied for commercial purposes. Read copyright information here.)
9 Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. 2 The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth, and on all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. 3 Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything. (NIV)
So far “be fruitful” is the most oft-repeated commandment God gives to humans. Maybe because we are so good at it. I also think it’s the one God doesn’t necessarily have to repeat (though its repeated twice in Genesis 9). We’re pretty good at it. Maybe a little too good. In fact, he built that line of code so well into our central processor, I think we’d figure it out on our own.
Genesis 9:3 is important because it verifies my suspicion that the line of Adam, to this point, were vegetarians. This confirms my thought (see Episode 4) that their flocks were likely kept for only milk, skins, wool and sacrifices. It’s also important to note here that there are no dietary restrictions on what kind of animal meat humans can eat, as God said “I now give you everything”. This, naturally, leads to animals fearing man.
An important lesson comes out of Genesis 9:3 – God can change the rules. I am assuming God made vegetarianism a rule prior to this (though it is never explicitly stated), because he specifically rescinded it. But why? I don’t know, but I’m going to keep this in the back of my mind as I plow forward.
4 “But you must not eat meat that has its lifeblood still in it. 5 And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each human being, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being. (NIV)
Don’t eat blood. Hmm…I am sure there is a reason, other than its gross, but it isn’t spelled out here. I’ll keep that in mind, too. Note to self – steaks well-done from this point forward.
6 “Whoever sheds human blood,
by humans shall their blood be shed;
for in the image of God
has God made mankind. (NIV)
Remember back in Episode 10 when God specifically singled out violence as one of the primary reasons for the flood? He revisits that theme here in Genesis 9:6.
SPOILER ALERT: This is essentially what the Sixth Commandment in Exodus:20 says. It is also pretty much what Jesus Christ says in Matthew 26:52 as he is being led away for his trial. Each human life is precious, dare I say holy, because we are made in the image of God. God is clear and unwavering on this point – don’t kill your fellow human being.
Hmm, interesting, God seems to repeat two major commands across Genesis – procreate and don’t kill. He is loud and clear on these two points.
To summarize Genesis 9:7-17, God expands on his covenant with Noah. After reminding Noah and his family to procreate (again) he promises never to destroy the world again…by flood (hmm…God kinda leaves the whole destroy-the-world-in-the future-thing wide open. Should we be worried?)
Like many of us learned in church, God says the rainbow is a sign of his covenant with Noah and all the creatures of the earth. I don’t know if rainbows existed before the Flood, but basic physics sort of makes me think they did and God assigned a symbolic meaning to this natural phenomenon. I must admit, this is another of those instances where scripture sounds a little like the “And that’s why…” stories common to other culture’s mythologies.
(A random thought: It seems throughout Genesis God links the fate of Earth and its creatures to his judgements of mankind. Why? Why should the world suffer for the sins of humanity? I have no idea, so I will move on…)
Genesis 9:1-17 makes sense to me. It has a logic and flow and spirit consistent to the scripture I have read up to this point. Genesis 9:18-28 does not. Here, the Bible takes a very weird turn.
18 The sons of Noah who came out of the ark were Shem, Ham and Japheth. (Ham was the father of Canaan.) 19 These were the three sons of Noah, and from them came the people who were scattered over the whole earth.
20 Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. 21 When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. 23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.
24 When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, 25 he said,
“Cursed be Canaan!
The lowest of slaves
will he be to his brothers.”
26 He also said,
“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Shem!
May Canaan be the slave of Shem.
27 May God extend Japheth’s territory;
may Japheth live in the tents of Shem,
and may Canaan be the slave of Japheth.”
28 After the flood Noah lived 350 years. 29 Noah lived a total of 950 years, and then he died. (NIV)
Welcome to the first edition of THE OLD TESTAMENT AFTER-HOURS: Noah gets sauced, passes out naked, and his son Ham sees him in the buff.
Ham’s brothers cover their father without looking at him. For the transgression of seeing dad naked, Ham’s descendants must suffer slavery at the hands of his brothers’ offspring forever. Here, scripture strays into Game of Thrones territory, and I’m not sure I’m buying it.
Please, put down the stones and hear me out. This portion of scripture reads and feels different from everything that has come before. It feels tacked on, alien to the spirit of what has come before. Let me explain.
First, if I had just spent half a year pent up with thousands of smelly animals in a storm-battered ocean and survived, I would be drinking heavily for the rest of my life. That part is believable, even for someone as good as Noah.
Remember, Noah was spared because he was found “righteous in the eyes of God.” That is about a good a character reference as one can get. I can logically deduce he wasn’t a violent, wicked man and had been repelled by the terrible evil of his era. Answer me this - why would someone this good be the first to introduce the concept of slavery into the Bible’s narrative? Yes, this is the first time that cursed institution is mentioned, by no less than Noah himself. Is Noah the father of slavery? I don’t think so. It makes no sense based on all that has come before.
Even more, why would he curse his own blood to suffer under the yoke of their own family. Think about it for a moment, God himself didn’t even curse Cain to such a fate for murder. Is seeing one’s father naked is worthy of a multi-generational curse? I try to put myself in Noah’s place, with his Bronze-age tribal patriarchal mores and values. I also try to imagine what kind of jerk (or degenerate) Ham might have been, but I can’t make the punishment fit the crime. SPOILER ALERT: This action flies in the face of mercy, forgiveness and grace – all of which are key concepts to follow in the Old and New Testament. Other parts of the tale make me scratch my head, too.
The Ark came to rest in the mountains of Ararat (eastern Turkey near the Armenian border), which is about 700 miles from Canaan (modern day Israel). That’s a long way to walk and horses were in REAL short supply at that particular moment in history. All three brothers were together, which makes me think the immediate family hadn’t dispersed yet. Either they all stayed in the vicinity of Ararat, which means either Ham hadn’t gone to Canaan yet, or his kids (SPOILER ALERT: Canaan was Ham's son and I assume the land was named for him) have already departed to Canaan but he stayed (or maybe returned). My point is why the particular emphasis on Ham's descendants in the line of Canaan? Before the advent of steam power in the US, most American’s didn’t stray from their county, but in the Bronze age Noah’s kids are globe-trotting around the muddy Middle-East immediately after the Great Flood? I don’t think so.
SPOILER ALERT: I know who was knocking on Canaan’s front door around 1446 B.C., readying his people for a coming holy war of conquest - Moses, that’s who. (Ham's descendants are also the Egyptians, go figure). Moses is widely-accepted as the penman of both Genesis and Exodus. This passage seems to infer the Israelites have a historical claim to take the peoples of Canaan as slaves. I am probably SO wrong, and I find this possibility really unsettling, but Genesis 9:18-26 feels like a bit of propaganda tacked on to the tale of Noah to help justify a coming conflict with the native peoples of Canaan.
Here’s a good point to bring up now - where in Genesis 9:18-28 is God’s voice, or will, mentioned? It isn’t. I only hear Noah’s rage.
Rage? A righteous man, a man of God, who had witnessed the ultimate evil of mankind and the divine wrath (and mercy) of God, would understand the frailty of life and the power of forgiveness. If Noah had this kind of rage buried deep in is heart, are you telling me a simple hangover and a bit of embarrassment would be all it took to unleash it? If Noah had this kind of rage buried deep in is heart, why would God spare him in the first place?
I am left with one of two conclusions about Genesis 9:18-26:
1) Moses hijacked the story of Noah and added a strange addendum to help justify what he knew was the coming war to reclaim the Promised Land. I don’t want to believe this, because, if true, that means Moses hijacked the scriptures for political/military gain. Or…
2) Noah proved God’s observation on human wickedness to be true before the ground was even dry after the Flood. He becomes, in a way, the Cain of the post-Flood age. In an alcohol-induced fit of anger Noah succumbs to wrath and forgoes mercy and forgiveness. In cursing Ham, Noah condemns a significant portion of his progeny, and humanity, to bondage and unspeakable suffering. In a weird way, he is the Father of Slavery and even validates Egypt’s brutal subjugation of God’s chosen people centuries later. I don’t want to believe this, either.
In the shadow of the rainbow I stumbled on Moses’s ambition or Noah’s rage. My gut tells me Genesis 9:18-28 has no business being part of this story. If either conclusion is true, I find this stretch of my Journey about as disheartening as it gets.
If you are an expert on the Bible, I’m listening. Tell me I’m wrong, show me why. My heart, mind and comments section are open.
Great blog, huh? Brian Braden is the author of THE ILLUSION EXOTIC, the historical fantasy novel BLACK SEA GODS and several other exciting books. Please support this blog with your patronage.
(Here is another episode in my continuing exploration of the Bible. You can read my series introduction here. All Bible quote are NIV and cannot be used for commercial purposes. Read copyright information here.)
Noah and the Flood
9 This is the account of Noah and his family.
Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God. 10 Noah had three sons: Shem, Ham and Japheth.
11 Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight and was full of violence. 12 God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. 13 So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. 14 So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and coat it with pitch inside and out. 15 This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high. 16 Make a roof for it, leaving below the roof an opening one cubit high all around. Put a door in the side of the ark and make lower, middle and upper decks. (NIV)
In my research into the legends of the Great Flood, I’ve come across a lot of information to suggest it may have occurred at the end of the last ice age about 12,000 years ago. Whether the flood happened as a series of natural glacial events, or if it was direct divine intervention, is completely irrelevant. The only important fact relevant to the story of the Great Flood is God takes personal responsibility for it.
In Genesis 6:13 God claims responsibility for the destruction about to be wrought. He causes it and thereby transforms from creator and divine father to judge and divine executioner. However, God grants a reprieve to Noah and his family.
Here, the scripture establishes Noah’s character and rehashes God’s reasons for destroying the world. What made Noah “righteous”? What standard of conduct had God issued to mankind at this point? So far in Genesis, we know disobedience and murder are wrong, but what other guidelines had God set thus far? There are two more behaviors we can add to the list of sins in Genesis 6:11 – corruption and violence.
I think it is important here to mention the scripture’s emphasis on corruption and violence, not just general wickedness. I think about the cruelty of ancient civilizations, and the horrors of the 20th and 21st centuries and I still wonder what was so terrible about this period that it called for such an extreme sentence upon humanity. Or maybe by now God has just grown used to our barbarism.
Like most of his forefathers, Noah had a stellar reputation among those of his time and was in good standing with God. I assume much of this was due to his upbringing. Other than that, we know little about him and his family. It says Noah was “blameless among the people of his time.” I take that as he had a sterling reputation, which implies the people of that time somehow knew the difference between good and bad. Perhaps this has something to do with tasting of the tree of good and evil.
This leads to the question – do humans have an inherent understanding of right and wrong, even when we choose not to act in the interest of righteousness? Is it hardwired into our DNA, or collective consciousness? According to Genesis 6, the people of Noah’s time knew what was right and wrong, and chose to do evil. Noah chose goodness, and was called by God to build the Ark.
Ark. What a funny name for a ship. Why not just call it a ship, or even a boat? The dictionary defines ark as “a place of protection or security; refuge; asylum.” (SPOILER ALERT: The term “ark” is used later in the Bible for something else completely.)
Genesis 6:14-16 is odd in its detail of the Ark. No physical object, or even person, has been described in such exacting detail up to this point. Two sentences betray the nautical purpose of the Ark: the need for pitch all around, and the reference to “decks” not floors. What did this Ark look like? According to a group of people in Kentucky who invested a LOT of money to build one, the Ark looked little something like this.
17 I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. 18 But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you. 19 You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. 20 Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive. 21 You are to take every kind of food that is to be eaten and store it away as food for you and for them.” (NIV)
I’m not going to talk about the feasibility of the Ark, or if the whole world was really flooded, or if every creature in the world was really brought on board. I don’t think any of that is really important. That conversation will go absolutely nowhere. If this happened, I think it happened this way:
God said the world was going to end, and Noah and his family would be saved. That is Faith. God called upon Noah to do his bidding, and Noah obeyed. That is Obedience. God’s influence in the world, and the earth’s salvation, were accomplished by human hands through the influence of God’s spirit on a human heart ready and willing to receive it through faith and obedience. That is the take-away from Genesis 6.
22 Noah did everything just as God commanded him. (NIV)
Noah trusted God and, in the end, all the animals in the world as Noah knew them were brought aboard the Ark. Noah obeyed and the whole world, as Noah knew it, flooded. Noah did as he was told and God kept his promise. In the end, that’s all that matters.
For the first time in the Bible we hear the word “covenant” regarding a relationship between God and humans. Webster defines a Biblical covenant as a “conditional promise made to humanity by God.” Conditional on what? According to Genesis 6, the first covenant was conditional on Noah’s faith, obedience, and trust.
Conditional…that word won’t quit nagging me. I was always told that God’s love is eternal and unconditional. Yet, in Genesis 5 and 6, God says he regrets making humanity and planned to destroy us. Was his love, therefore, conditional? Is his love a covenant? Did he destroy the world because he no longer loved us, or did he spare Noah and the animals because he still loved us?
I go back to how we are created in his image, and how God’s actions are so similar to a parent. I know my love for my children is not a covenant, its unconditional. Oh, sure, I make covenants with my kids all the time regarding stuff and behaviors. God’s actions are more in line with a farmer destroying a diseased crop, and salvaging the few remaining good stalks to all start over.
That analogy seems to stick. Something else occurs to me, too. There is mention of sin, and judgement, but no mention of the devil or any other spiritual entity stirring up all this corruption and violence. Based on scripture, evil seems to radiate from humankind itself and nowhere else. Moreover, this evil is so bad it infects even nature itself, like a pathogen. It’s like God saving a few good files and wiping the hard disk in a last-ditch effort to purge a virus.
Maybe that is what it took to save humanity from itself. Perhaps the Flood was the toughest medicine of all, the toughest love of all. I mean, humanity is still here, aren’t we? It makes we wonder what manner of evil God saved us from, and what horrors we visited upon one another when the world was young.
Next week, Genesis 7 and the 40 days and nights that changed the world.
Brian Braden is the author of THE ILLUSION EXOTIC, the historical fantasy novel BLACK SEA GODS and several other exciting books. Please support this blog with your patronage.
(Note: I'm back from vacation with another episode in my continuing exploration of the Bible. You can read my series introduction here.)
I originally come from an unchurched family. We never went to church, even on Easter and Christmas, though my mother expressed a vague belief in God. You could say I rode the first wave of post-Christianity in America. Oh sure, I went to church with friends once in a while, but those where social events, not a spiritual ones. To put it bluntly, I never really got it until much later in my life.
It really came down to the fact that when I tried to read the Bible when I was younger it was the King James version. By the time I got to Genesis 5, my eyes glazed over when I hit the first set of “begots.”
It wasn’t until I was much older, and had a New International Version (NIV) in my hands, that I could make sense of the Old Testament’s long periods of concentrating strictly on genealogy. The NIV doesn’t use the word “begot”, since it is a fresh translation into modern English, but even in the NIV wading into all “who’s who” of the Old Testament can be daunting.
Genesis 5 describes the line from Adam to Noah’s sons. I read this one closely, not glazing over and rushing through, and actually learned a few things. Before I get into the meat of the scripture, there are a few points I need to cover.
Up to now, Genesis can be described as transforming from poetic to parable. Now, in Genesis 5, it makes the leap to historical. Time as we know it becomes important as the cast of characters grow exponentially. With this in mind, some people begin this historical journey by counting the years, from birth to death, from Adam onward in order to calculate the exact age of the universe. This is a bad idea for three important reasons.
Reason One: Adam’s existence straddles two different ways of marking time – God’s way and mortal’s way. Recall in Episode 2, where I cover Genesis 1 and the 6 Days of Creation. In Genesis 1:14 God said on Day 4, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years…” The human concept of time, based on celestial movements, isn’t created until God’s Day 4. Logically, the first 6 days are on a completely different scale, and “counting backward” from God Day 1 won’t work. The Six Days of Creation could be six days or six billion years. I don’t know and will never know. The timeline and physics of the universe’s creation are questions better left to science. Therefore, we have no good beginning “anchor point" for the Genesis 5 genealogy.
Reason Two: Adam wasn’t born of woman like the rest of humanity, he was created from dust and the breath of God. He doesn’t have a birthday as we know it with which to begin the count of years.
Reason Three: Genesis 2 infers Adam and Eve were immortal until they took a bite of the forbidden fruit. They were, therefore, timeless until that point. In my previous episodes, I break with tradition and place Adam’s creation on God Day 3, not 6, based on the clear description of the world surrounding the Garden of Eden at the time of his creation. As I stated earlier, a way to track time celestially wasn’t possible until God Day 4. One day or a billion years, perhaps it all felt like a single warm afternoon to Adam, who may have not had ANY sense of time.
How does one, therefore, calculate a “birthday” for Adam between two time-scales, with no birthday, and when for the first portion of his existence, he didn’t age? You can’t. Don’t try, because the universe isn’t 6000 years old. Genesis isn’t designed for that, and using it that way won’t work. What starting point could one safely use, then?
Only one will work…the moment Adam and Eve took their fatal bite. First, the Bible now provides an accurate time reference using the common solar year. Second, at that moment, Adam and Eve were essentially “born again,” but this time into sin (New Testament foreshadowing, huh?). Third, Adam and Eve are no longer immortal; time actually means something to them now. Everything before this time passed as if in a dream. With that said, we shall begin our historical journey from the “bite” forward.
5 This is the written account of Adam’s family line.
When God created mankind, he made them in the likeness of God. 2 He created them male and female and blessed them. And he named them “Mankind” when they were created.
When I see ideas and concepts rehashed and repeated, but slightly differently, like Genesis 5:1, it leads me to think parts of the Old Testament might be compilations of different ancient manuscripts, with different authors, loosely edited together. Like I said, I’m not a Bible scholar, so don’t take anything I say with any authority. I’m just musing.
Now to the heart of Genesis 5, the lineage.
.There is actually a methodology to this genealogy, all of which is paternal, which I call the “three sentence” structure. I’m sure experts call it something else. Each generational paragraph begins with the “had lived” sentence, which is how long the patriarch lived before having their first son. That is followed with the “was born” sentence, which states how long they lived after their first son was born and if they had any other children. The end of the paragraph is the “lived a total “sentence, which gives the total number of years the patriarch lived. With this, one can mark the passage of time in the Old Testament.
3 When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Seth. 4 After Seth was born, Adam lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. 5 Altogether, Adam lived a total of 930 years, and then he died.
As stated earlier, I make the assumption Adam’s timeline begins at the moment his long immortality comes to and end and he begins the long road to physical death, 930 years later. This brings to mind a very important question, why did all these patriarchs live so long?
There is no forensic archeological evidence of anyone living even nearly this long, though there are several of myths and legends across the ancient world about unique races of long-lived humans. (Feel free to buy my novel BLACK SEA GODS, as my fans know I’ve done quite a bit of research into these myths. Don’t worry, I’ll wait until you get back. Did you buy it? Good. I’ll continue.) Its logical to speculate this is a residual effect of Adam’s previous immortality, the afterglow of eternity, now passed down to his descendants. I am also going to speculate this long life was unique to the line of Adam. SPOILER ALERT: The farther the line of Adam drifts from the Garden, the shorter their life spans get.
BEGET ABOUT IT ALREADY!: Genesis 5:6-21 repeats this methodology for the generations of Seth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared, and Enoch. And that’s about all there is to that. Things get interesting again in Genesis 5:21 with Enoch.
21 When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. 22 After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. 23 Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years.24 Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.
This is commonly interpreted as Enoch being taken by God without actually dying. I read it that way, too. For one thing, it doesn’t end like the other paragraphs with “…and he died.” Why doesn’t the Bible talk more about him? There is a non-canonized (i.e. it didn’t make the official cut to get into the Bible) book of scripture called The Book of Enoch, supposedly written by the man himself, but I’m not going to talk to that. Bottom line, the official version of scripture gives this guy a footnote and moves right along. Bummer, I’d liked to have learned more about him. SPOILER ALERT: This happens to one other person in the Old Testament, too.
25 When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he became the father of Lamech. 26 After he became the father of Lamech, Methuselah lived 782 years and had other sons and daughters. 27 Altogether, Methuselah lived a total of 969 years, and then he died.
Enoch’s son Methuselah didn’t get the e-ticket to heaven, but he did win the “longest lived in the Bible” trophy, at a whopping 969 years.
28 When Lamech had lived 182 years, he had a son. 29 He named him Noah and said, “He will comfort us in the labor and painful toil of our hands caused by the ground the Lord has cursed.” 30 After Noah was born, Lamech lived 595 years and had other sons and daughters. 31 Altogether, Lamech lived a total of 777 years, and then he died.
32 After Noah was 500 years old, he became the father of Shem, Ham and Japheth.
Using the genealogy of Genesis 5, I count about 1,656 years since Eve handed Adam the fruit and invited him to take a bite. To keep it simple in my simple brain, I’m going to call my timescale “P.E.” – Post-Eden. I was going to call it P.B. – Post-Bite, but it sounded too much like “Peanut Butter.” I’m going to use P.E. until I can find some solid, universally accepted benchmark in the Old Testament to convert to B.C. (please, don’t get me started on “B.C.E.”)
The year is 1656 P.E. and a man named Noah is about to embark on perhaps the most important mission ever given to a human being.
God’s patience with mankind is about to run out.
Brian Braden is the author of THE ILLUSION EXOTIC, the historical fantasy novel BLACK SEA GODS and several other exciting books. Please support this blog with your patronage.
I'm interrupting my blog series on the Bible for a brief update on my writing progress.
As a way of saying "I'm sorry this is taking so long" to my readers, here is an unedited sample from my upcoming novel THE CHRONICLES OF FU XI, Book 3: THE BASTARD GODS.
I'm making slow but steady progress and I am still hoping for a 2018 release.
The Demon Fish
The two men stood, side-by-side at the barge’s edge, in comfortable contemplation as if pondering something so casual as an afternoon swim. Arms crossed, Levidi rested all his weight on one leg like a crane, scratching the back of his calf with his toe. Ghalen leaned lazily on his crooked spear and scratched his nose. They talked softly as the enormous fin sliced slowly back and forth in the gentle waves a few yards away.
“They’re not serious, are they?” Ezra whispered to Sana. “It’s almost a third the length of the barge.”
“Yes,” she replied flatly. Sana had seen this scene many times before among her people, the Scythians. It was the way men spoke to one another before the hunt, or before battle. These were murmurs of strategy, scheming or just mischief.
A crowd of men and boys gathered behind Sana and Ezra, careful not to get close enough to the edge, lest they unbalance the barge.
“It’s too far,” Levidi kept his voice level, but Sana could detect his excitement at the size of the monster cruising just below the surface.
“I wonder how it tastes?” Ghalen squinted, as if in deep thought.
“I bet its wondering the same thing,” Sana remarked just loud enough to ensure being heard.
Ghalen ignored her.
“Its hide looks tough,” Levidi pondered.
“Yes,” Ghalen raised his eyebrow. That it does. The spear may not penetrate.”
“Perhaps its hide is tough enough to repair our deck bindings.” Okta stepped alongside Sana, followed by Alaya.
“Don’t encourage them!” Sana gave Okta a not-so-gentle shove to the laughter of the crowd.
Okta shrugged. “It’s just a fish.”
“Men are all the same. Not a shred of sense.” Sana remembered how a much smaller demon fish had sliced a sea dog in two with just a bite. This one looked like it could swallow a man whole. Sana looked around for Aizarg. She spotted him on the opposite end of the barge, back to them and staring off into the distance.
He will be of no help, she thought.
The demon fish began to slowly cruise closely alongside the barge. Levidi, Ghalen and the gallery followed.
“We’re going to have to jab it if we stand any chance of puncturing the skin,” Levidi said.
Ghalen’s shook his head. “It’s too far for a spear jab, I’ll have to throw.”
Levidi pursed his lips and looked as if calculating the distance. “You’ll just lose the spear.”
“That twig isn’t going to penetrate that thing’s skin.” Arms crossed and losing her patience, Sana followed a few paces behind. Behind them, the Lo straggled along, heads craning and murmuring expectantly.
The sun lorded high above, the dappling reflections making it difficult for Sana to see. The big gray fin, three hands high, sliced back and forth as if daring the men to attack.
Ezra leaned toward Sana and spoke in a low tone, “Even if they do spear it, how are they going to get it on the barge?”
“I have no idea.”
After a few more minutes of discussion, they agreed to let Ghalen throw the spear.
“Remember, that is my spear,” Levidi reminded.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Ghalen screwed up his face in concentration and brushed back his thick blonde hair. Then, he cocked back his arm.
Ghalen’s skill with the spear always amazed Sana, and was legendary among the Lo. If any man here had a chance of slaying the beast, it was him.
The wooden tip hit dead square behind the shark’s head, and bounced off harmlessly. It landed with a weak splash before beginning to drift away.
Levidi shrugged. “Tough fish.”
Ghalen nodded. “It will take metal to punch through that hide.”
They looked at one another and, as if reading each others’s thoughts, grinned knowingly.
“I know that look.” Alaya grabbed Sana’s arm. “He’s about to do something stupid.”
Ghalen and Levidi simultaneously drew their daggers from their loin-cloth straps.
“They’re not…” Sana looked on in disbelief.
“They are!” Ezra smiled broadly and snatched the knife from his loincloth.
“One of us takes the top, the other the bottom,” Ghalen said.
“Fair enough, stay clear of its tail,” Levidi gave each of his legs a brief shake to limber up.
“Another good point.”
“Levidi! Stop this foolishness,” Alaya screamed.
“It’s okay, my song bird. Me and Ghalen know what we’re doing.”
“Ghalen?” Sana asked incredulously.
“It’s just a fish,” he winked at her.
“It’s a fish as big as a wooly rhino with the teeth of a lion!”
Ghalen and Levidi nodded at one another and, knives drawn, a moment later jumped on top of the beast.
A mighty cheer went up from the Lo.
Ezra scrambled to join them, but Sana snatched him back by the arm. “Don’t be stupid. You swim worse than I do.”
Knife between his teeth, Levidi dove deep as Ghalen grabbed the beast’s dorsal fin and plunged his blade just ahead of the fin.
The water exploded in spray and blood. The beast rolled and thrashed, and Sana finally saw the monster’s true size... and its teeth. Each bigger than a lion’s tooth, they stood in jagged rows. If either man lost their grip, the creature would spin about and rend them to pieces. Just as bad, its crescent-shaped tail would smash them.
Sana shuddered as she finally got a look at the beast’s eyes, which were unlike anything she’s ever seen in a fish or land dwelling creature. They were like obsidian stones, lifeless and cold.
Every roll revealed Levidi clinging to the pectoral fin; each stab created a brief red bloom on the it’s underbelly before the sea washed away the blood. Ghalen held on to a dorsal fin and sliced bloody ribbons down the beast’s back.
Okta looked on, though to Sana he didn’t seem concerned. “Ezra, go fetch one of the two good coils of rope from my raft.”
Ezra slowly backed away, as if unable to take his eyes off the battle.
“Go, son. We’re going to need that rope soon.”
The beast suddenly snapped its body into a “U” shape, shrugging Ghalen off its fin. Before Sana could register what was happening, the fish snapped the other way, slapping Ghalen with its tail so violently he sailed out of the water and onto the deck, bowling over several men lined up along the edge. His knife skittered along the deck and stopped as Sana’s feet.
Okta clenched his knife between his teeth and dove in, followed by most of the Lo men. Soon, men covered the demon fish like ants, knives piercing and slashing.
Ghalen lay unmoving, a large red abrasive rash on his chest weeping blood in some places. Sana dropped to her knees beside him, shaking his chest.
Alaya knelt beside her. “He’s not breathing!”
“Ghalen!” Sana pushed on his chest, trying to rouse him.
Ghalen reached up and grabbed Sana by the back of the neck, pulling her down and kissing her hard. He rolled over on top of her, and pressed his body against hers. At first, she resisted, but Ghalen pressed her arms over her head, and inserted his hips between her legs. She began to melt as his tongue, and the tang of salt and blood, filled her mouth and ignited her Scythian blood.
He pressed harder. She pressed back, and let a moan escape.
Alaya scooted back and giggled.
“Sana?” Ghalen whispered tenderly.
“Yes?” Sana panted and fought the urge to push her pelvis harder against his.
“Where’s my knife?”
She looked at him oddly, wondering if she heard him correctly.
He glanced left and his face lit up. “There it is!” He snatched it off the deck, scrambled up and leapt back into the water to join the melee.
Cool air invaded the spaces where hot flesh once covered. Sana exhaled and covered her face with her hands. “I hope the beast bites his head off.”
Alaya giggled again.
Did you like the sample but haven't read any of my books? Begin the adventure with the historical fantasy novel BLACK SEA GODS.
(...or "why it's important to know the difference between a kidney and a spleen)
I've finally started on the road to audiobook for both THE GOLDEN PRINCESS and BLACK SEA GODS. I've been hesitant to do so up to this point for several reasons. First of all, I didn't know how it all worked and I naturally fear change. Second, I didn't have the time to figure it out because I naturally fear work. Third, I knew it was likely to be expensive and I naturally fear spending money.
With the help of government-funded therapy I've licked the first two hurdles. I've made some time to research the process, and asked the opinions of some smart people who have travelled this road ahead of me. I listened carefully to what they said, which was for me to give up writing and remember what it was like to live again. I told them I don't remember the taste of strawberries and they should get bent.
But I digress.
So...I've chosen a production company and narrowed down the list of potential narrators. By the way, I've also chosen a private jet and a villa in the Swiss Alps for, you know, when all the money starts rolling in. I did, however, run some figures and come up with a basic budget for making an audio book. There is only one small problem...how to pay for it all.
Its good to have a budget. Its even better to have money. Scratch the villa and the private jet and focus on the audio book and how to pay for it.
Option 1: Revenue sharing. Brutal truth time - if I were a narrator, I wouldn't agree to revenue sharing on any of my books. In fact, I'd laugh if I asked me to share my revenue on my books. I know that's harsh, but I know a lot of indie authors can sympathize with me (can I get an Amen from the crowd?) While I believe strongly in the caliber of my work (especially when I've been drinking), I just don't sell enough books (yet) to make revenue sharing attractive.
I think, however, I could get a good narrator if I pay upfront. But it still leaves me with the conundrum of where to find the money.
Option 2: Pay with cash from my day job. That money is already budgeted for real-life stuff, like food and kid stuff and air conditioning. Like many authors, I do not have much excess cash to spend on writing. On that note, people often liken writing to having a mistress. I strongly disagree.
Other than being demanding and expensive like a mistress, they have nothing in common. A mistress is (optimally) sexy, and (usually) a secret. A mistress should also make you feel better (at least temporarily).
(BTW, what the hell do you call a male version of mistress? A misteress? If a lesbian has a mistress, is she still a mistress? If a gay man has a mistress, is he a Mister Misteress?)
I digress yet again.
Writing, on he other hand, is just demanding and expensive.
No, writing is less like a mistress and more like an old college buddy who is out of work and staying for "just a few days" until "he can catch a break." Your spouse knows all about him because he lives on her couch and she hates his guts and keeps asking when he is moving out because its time to move on and he is eating all the food and leaves beer cans all over the floor and scratches himself in from of the kids and the toilet won't flush and where the hell is the cat...
Did I do it again? I did, didn't I? Back to the topic.
Option 3: Sell one of my kidneys. I'm not sure either kidney is working at 100% capacity anymore.
Option 4: Sell one of your kidneys. Wanna go grab a drink? Ah, never mind. It's too much of a hassle to keep all that ice in the motel bathtub. Last time I tried it, my Chinese blackmarket connection said I removed the spleen, not the kidney. I didn't get paid and was out like, 40 bucks for all the ice and whiskey. The incident did, however, convince my old college buddy to move out.
Option 5: Crowdfunding. Crowd funding is a great idea for some things, like raising money for legal fees and getting former friends a new spleen. But getting the cash to fund an audio book does not qualify, at least in my mind, as justification to ask people for money, even if I give them something in return, like a slightly used spleen. I make no judgements on others who do so, but for me it feels like begging.
Option 6: Hold a telethon. Unfortunately, no one under 40 knows what the hell a telethon is.
Option 7: Sell a kid or two. Tempting... On one hand, I'd gain a new office, but then I'd lose the tax write-offs. I like those tax write-offs
Option 8: Writing hardcore erotica under a pen name. My doctor said my heart wasn't healthy enough (but he said I have the spleen of a 20 year old. He's right, I do).
Option 9: Lit Funding. Otherwise known as selling enough books to pay for the audio version. With the exception of all the other options I've listed, this the most realistic avenue to funding my audiobook. I've lit funded a cover or two. I've lit funded a lunch or two. But an audio book is another matter.
In order to make this happen I have to do some math. Since I don't like public math, I'm going to pull the curtain...I'll be right back.
(whisper whisper carry the eight whisper whisper seven to the eighth power whisper whisper E equals Eminem squared whisper whisper....)
I'm back. In order to pay for an audio version my latest novel I will have to sell 2,342 ebooks. That's just a teency weency (pinches fingers centimeter apart for effect) bit more books than I usually sell, like a 2430% increase in monthly sales.
Bottom line, one way or another I'll find a way to finance the audio versions of my novels. Its just going to take patience and a reckless disregard for the law. In the meantime, you can help my buying or renting my novels on Amazon. Every little bit helps. If you've already read them, please rate or review them on Amazon. Believe it or not, the number of reviews on Amazon greatly helps in book sales. If you've already bought and reviewed my novels, please spread the word.
If you've already done all this, thank you! I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate it. In fact, we should go out for a drink to celebrate. Say, I'm just curious, do you have both kidneys?
Brian L. Braden is the author of three fantasy novels: THE GOLDEN PRINCESS, BLACK SEA GODS AND TEARS OF THE DEAD.
Chronicles of Fu Xi, Book 3: Coming 2017.
I am working hard on this novel, and hopefully will have finished it by this time next year. He is a sneak peak of what is to come.
Two demigods roam a shattered world - one driven by conquest, the other on a mission of salvation. Caught in between are humanity’s last survivors.
From the south, marches Leviathan and his army of cannibal warriors. After surviving the Cataclysm and a voyage halfway across the world, the son of Poseidon is bent on establishing a new “Empire of the Gods.” The slave Amiran is locked in a desperate battle of wits to stop him. Amiran struggles not only to mask his conspiracies from Leviathan, but to hide his feelings for the beautiful woman who recently washed ashore.
From the west rides Fu Xi, son of the Goddess Nuwa. He must find the Man with White Hair before Leviathan does. Fu Xi also searches for the only family he has left, a half-brother he has never known. Along the way Fu Xi unexpectedly finds a survivor, a boy that could lead him to everything he seeks, if Fu Xi can keep him alive.
To the east Aizarg’s bedraggled people make landfall, but at a terrible price. Now the Lo must make their way through perilous mountains, desperately trying to find a promised land. The Lo however, are led by a new holy woman, one just as comfortable wielding a spear as a talisman. Sana and Aizarg must keep their people alive and united, as forces without and within seek their demise.
While Demigods and mortals are on a collision course, an ancient and dangerous force has awoken in their paths, one that could change the fortunes of both men and gods.
The end of the world is over, but the battle for the new age has just begun.
Just a few more days and The Golden Princess will be here. For those of you who have pre-ordered, thank you.
For those who are waiting for the release or haven't heard of my novels,
Here's a sneak peek of what's inside.
Sarah burst from the enormous gilded doors, just as she had done on the first day of Festival every year since she could remember. Excitement vibrated through her body, invigorated by the late afternoon sunshine. Rosewater and jasmine floated on the air as she dashed down the stairs and across the crowded courtyard. Brushing by the central fountain, she didn’t care if the spouting lions splashed her with icy water. Sarah had to see the wagon, to touch it before it departed to join the parade assembling just outside the palace gates. As with every Festival, Sarah pretended she would be a participant in the glorious event, and not just another distant spectator.
She glimpsed the beautiful wagon through the milling crowd. Between the wagon and the palace gates, she spied Asul barking orders at his warriors as they struggled to assemble the House Azubehl’s contribution to the Parade of Princes. Behind them, drummers and trumpeters warmed up, filling the palace grounds with music. Soldiers herded gayly dressed dancers, acrobats, fire breathers, and plumed horses to the head of the line. Behind them milled a bedraggled pack of chained slaves, her Father’s slice of the booty from Hur-ar’s many wars against the steppe tribes. All of these would precede her father’s wagon, announcing the power of the House Azubehl.
She ducked low to avoid Asul’s eyes, and weaved amid the crush of Hur-ar’s high ranking warriors and royalty chosen to follow the Prince’s wagon. By following the prince’s wagon in the annual parade, they announced their fealty to the ancient and powerful House Azubehl.
Tended by a small army of slaves, the nobles clucked excitedly to one another. Broad silver trays piled high with exotic delicacies from across Hur-ar’s vast trading empire twirled and danced through the crowd. The struggling slaves beneath their shadows remained invisible to privileged eyes.
Sarah, however, was not invisible. Noblemen occasionally ogled her despite her golden veil, but Sarah knew her status as First Daughter and betrothed to the Crown Prince kept her safe.
Her father had arranged for his guests’ every appetite. Scantily-clad slave girls and boys, rented from the city’s finest brothels, prowled the lush gardens at the courtyard’s edges. As her mother had taught her many times, Sarah averted her eyes from the goings-on in the shadows. While Sarah had no illusions what the men did with the slave girls behind the garden’s thick foliage, she felt uncomfortable at the thought some of the girls were younger than her.
The enormous parade wagon resting before the sealed palace gates commanded her attention. Slaves hurriedly put the final touches on the family’s contribution to the Parade of Princes, the Festival’s opening event. Long ago, it had been a heavy wagon used for hauling trade goods and ore up and down the steep Cliff Road to the Black Fortress. Standing almost twice as high as a man, her grandfather had ordered it rebuilt decades ago. Ornately carved stairs replaced the mundane wooden loading ramp on its side. Silk bunting draped over polished wooden slats and interwoven with silver and golden threads, bore images of the House Azubehl’s great deeds. Wooden wheels were replaced with gilded bronze spokes encrusted with glittering jewels. Atop it all, two gold and ivory thrones sparkled in the sun.
This is where her father and mother would sit as two snow-white oxen pulled the wagon up the Avenue of Kings. Only the wagons of the King and Prince Hector, first in line for the throne, would proceed them. The rest of Hur-ar’s nobility would follow in order of their Court status. All the great houses were expected to participate, each displaying their wealth and might. The parade would terminate at sunset at the King’s Palace in the city center. There, a gala feast would rage until dawn, marking the official opening of the Festival of Gold.
Sarah looked about, making sure Asul wasn’t watching. The High Prince and his First Wife, her mother and father, had yet to make their appearance. Noblemen drank and laughed around her, ignoring the High Prince’s daughter lingering in the wagon’s shadow. The slaves tending the oxen paid her no mind, nor did those tasked with shoveling manure from the cobblestones.
Sarah reached up and caressed the silky bunting, still as crisp and bright as she remembered it as a young child. The wagon held a special magic for her. In her imagination, she pictured it one day transporting her beyond the palace’s gilded prison. She could count on her fingers the number of times she’d been beyond the palace walls. In those times, she had been concealed behind thick curtains in a wagon, on her way to and from the family’s country villa.
Impulse overrode good sense, and she scurried up the stairs.
Perched on her Mother’s throne, Sarah straightened her white silk and chiffon dress, pushed up her golden bracelets, and firmly set her gaze on the closed courtyard gates. If the force of her stare could open the gates, it would. She imagined what it would feel like to ride down the Avenue of Kings with the entire city’s eyes upon her. Sarah wanted to see the people, to experience Hur-ar’s vibrant sights and sounds.
Her mother would have none of it.
Laughter shook Sarah from her trance. Afraid Mother or Asul might have spied her, Sarah slunk down and peered around. The crowd paid her no attention, everyone focused on the party’s latest arrivals.
A court page cleared his throat and shouted above the chattering crowd, “Announcing Her Highness, Ashtoreth, Eighth Princess of the House of Azubelh, and her son Prince Bal-eeb.”
With disarming smiles and leering eyes, the freemen flocked to Ashtoreth’s side. The women of court fell back, whispering to one another jealously.
“Witch,” Sarah heard several of the women hiss under their breath.
Hiding behind her mother’s throne, Sarah could not tear her eyes away from the woman who had arrived into their lives like a whirlwind only a few months ago. Her father’s latest, and eighth wife, Ashtoreth had become a powerful force in court.
Fully in control, Ashtoreth waded into the crowd, goblet in one hand. Her dress looked as if it were spun from black spider web, originating from her full left breast and radiating across her body. Golden silk beneath the black strands afforded minimal modesty and accentuated each dangerous curve. Diamonds woven into the thin strands gave the illusion of morning dew clinging to the black webs. Long ebony hair fell down her right shoulder, glistening in the sun and barely concealing her right breast.
Beautiful, Sarah thought. And then, with a hint of unease, Powerful. She watched the way Ashtoreth drew men to her, and manipulated them with a look, or a word. Sarah frowned, considering her own body, wondering if men would ever look at her that way.
Then she caught the gaze of another. From behind his mother, Bal-eeb grinned at Sarah.
She blushed and turned away, slumping deeper into the wagon, back pressed against the chair.
Her heart thumped wildly. She slowly snuck a peek, but he no longer looked at her and mingled with the crowd.
People said Bal-eeb had already distinguished himself in battle against the Scythians. Broad shouldered and bare-chested, he wore only military sandals and the traditional ocher waist wrap of a Royal officer. Tall, with a bushy black mane of hair and thick oiled beard, he resembled his cognomen, The Lion. Her father’s younger officers flocked about him, as did many of her step-sisters. The handsome prince had caused a great stir among Prince Azubehl’s many daughters since his arrival. Many of her half-sisters openly wondered if marrying their stepbrother would be permissible.
Sarah hated to admit it to herself, but she thought of it, too. Though she never publicly showed it, her mother had been furious when Prince Azubehl had taken a new wife who already had a son, and one so old. Everyone knew this presented an immediate threat to Ezra, the First Son. Sarah wanted to hate Bal-eeb, but kept finding herself stealing glances at the handsome Sammujad.
Brash, arrogant and savage, Bal-eeb represented everything Mother taught her was wrong, everything the ancient teachings of the Narim, the god-men of the Black Fortress, rejected. To Sarah, Bal-eeb was like spring thunder in the mountains. She knew he should be feared, but she couldn’t pull her attention away from his power.
“All Hail Prince Azubehl and his beloved First Wife, the High Princess Meribeph!”
A flurry of activity in front of the palace’s great doors foreshadowed the imminent arrival of Mother and Father. Sarah knew she must leave the courtyard before Mother spotted her. Backing down the stairs and staying low, she tried to blend in with the crowd. Then, her right sandal caught a stair, sending her tumbling backwards. She grabbed at the wagon’s edge, but only snatched air. She closed her eyes and braced herself.
Corded muscles caught her. Sarah’s arms naturally fell across an iron neck.
When she dared open her eyes Bal-eeb smiled down at her.
“You must be more careful, princess.”
Sarah’s face turned bright red behind the veil. Her mind battled between the desire to crawl beneath the wagon and curl up and die, or perhaps, to stay right here in Bal-eeb’s arms.
“P-put me down.” She added, “Please,” and then cursed herself.
“Of course.” He set her down, but inched closer, trapping her between the wagon and his broad chest. He snagged a goblet from a nearby tray, eyes twinkling playfully. He smelled of wind and steel and smoke and every fantasy she’d ever imagined of life outside Hur-ar.
She smoothed her gown and hair, struggling to regain composure.
Sarah struggled to think of something, anything, to say. Her years of training under the stern matriarchs of Hur-ar’s oldest families did little to prepare her for the likes of Bal-eeb.
“Are you enjoying the party?” She asked voice cracking.
Bal-eeb emptied the goblet in one deep swig, and tossed it to the ground. He stepped even closer, further invading her space. “You talk much. All of you city dwellers love to talk.”
“Yes. I guess we do.”
Ironically, Sarah realized this was the most they had said to one another since his arrival at the palace.
He placed a palm against the wagon, blocking her escape, and leaned even closer. “You’re different from your sisters.”
“Oh, really?” Sarah swallowed.
“A man might find you desirable.”
Sarah held her breath; her heart pounded. Desirable?
He playfully fingered her hair and toyed with the delicate knot holding her veil in place. “Your hair. Your eyes. There are no women like you beyond the wall.”
Sarah glanced around, but no one in the crowd seemed to take notice of them. Unexpected excitement washed over Sarah as his warm breath caressed her cheek.
“Princess, you should not be here.” A stern voice came from beside them.
Sarah turned to find Asul locked eye-to-eye with Bal-eeb.
“Hello, Captain Asul,” she exhaled, simultaneously relieved and disappointed.
“Be gone, guard,” Bal-eeb gave Asul a dismissive glance.
“Princess Sarah isn’t supposed to be here.”
“Go away,” Bal-eeb glanced at Asul the way a mad dog does before it snaps.
“She’s coming with me.”
Bal-eeb drew himself up and turned to face Captain Asul. “When does a commoner give orders to a prince?”
Those who took no notice before now turned and watched the two warriors face off. Bal-eeb hovered over her like a predator protecting its kill, Asul the unyielding interloper.
Asul’s tone never changed, his face impassive. “I am under orders from High Princess Meribeph. Take it up with her.”
Even though she seemed forgotten, Sarah tried to flatten herself as much as possible against the wagon.
Bal-eeb laughed and stepped back. “Who am I to oppose the will of the High Princess?”
The tension broke as Asul grasped Sarah’s wrist and pulled her away.
The crowd began to chatter again like crickets after a passing storm. Asul led Sarah behind the columns at the courtyard’s edge.
“Sneaking about again, my princess?” Asul said gruffly once they were out of earshot.
“A proper princess doesn’t sneak, isn’t that what you tell me?”
“Then I guess I wasn’t sneaking.”