Desperation, Fear and Delusion: The Writer's Drive

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As a writer and a book reviewer, I’ve made some  observations and learned a few lessons over the past few years about the state  of mind of many emerging authors. If you care to listen, I’ll share a few. Take them for what they are, the opinions of an author who has published independently and traditionally. 
 
First, I think many new authors fail to take an honest account of their motivations before jumping into writing. Motivations are legion, but every writer wants their work published. It may not be the only motivation, but it’s likely the most important. I call this powerful motivation the Writer’s Drive. However, when a writer doesn’t have other goals besides publication, such as improving the quality of their work, the Writer’s Drive can become overpowering. A relentless, obsessive, and often frustrating quest for publication can cloud judgment and seriously interfere with their craft. To put it another way, too much Writer’s Drive is a bad thing. 
 
Writer’s Drive often leads to Writer’s Desperation, the overpowering desire for feedback and validation. Desperation leads to anxiety and impatience. It often comprises a writer’s work as they rush it to publication before its ready. Alas, desperation often leads to fear. 
 
Writers often fear criticism because writing is  an intensely personal experience.  To some degree or another, writers must lower their shields and open themselves up to the judgment of strangers, resulting in varying degrees of apprehension, or what I call Writer’s Fear. Like any other human endeavor, most people who try their hand at writing fail. After the sixth grade most ballerinas and  baseball players give up and become other things. Sadly, it takes more time for writers to get a clue.  Unlike sports, writers can insulate themselves from scrutiny and, to avoid hurt feelings, friends and relatives sometimes aren’t entirely honest. When writers finally hit a wall of honest, often brutal, feedback, they have three choices: quit, learn and adapt, or lie to themselves. Which brings me to my last observation: writers can be self-delusional.
 
There isn’t a writer out there who hasn’t suffered Writer’s Delusion. We’ve often ignored a golden nugget of advice that a manuscript might need major work. People naturally hear what they want to hear, not what they need to hear. It reminds me of the movie Dumb and Dumber when the Lauren Holly tells Jim Carey he only has a one-in-a-million chance of ever going out with her. He smiles and says, “So you’re telling me I have a chance!” Yep, that’s us writers. 
 
There you have it - A strong, unchecked drive to publish often leads to desperation, fear, and self-delusion. In other words, it leads to a very frustrated writer. So I come back to the point about motivations. As a writer, if you’re honest about your motivations you can often find other reasons than publication. Getting published is a natural, long-term goal, but there is more to writing than seeing your book in print. Improving your craft, for example, is an important and attainable near-term goal. 

Bottom line, you need something to keep you motivated on the long road to publication that doesn’t stress you out, keeps you writing and moving forward. Find reasons that are uplifting, relaxing, and positive. This will give you patience and peace of mind. It also beats the hell out of fear, desperation and delusion. In time, one way or another, the publication thing will take care of  itself.
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Originally published 26 October 2012 in Underground Book Reviews. It has been updated for this blog.